you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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