I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I need help removing her.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize