Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
