i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
