hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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