READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
