i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You work out of a Hotel?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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