Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
