Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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