To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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