I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
