i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is Oprah even human
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize