jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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