i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
