I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
