if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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