Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
