I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
