you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
