Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
