I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
