did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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