first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
