Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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