My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The air taste purple.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
