You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
