i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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