i think i have two assholes
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
