dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
