real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
