But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
