I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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