Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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