Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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