...so i touched it.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
