i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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