i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize