my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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