You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
