I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
