She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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