Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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