You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
