woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
