i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
