yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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