I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need to calm my uterus...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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