Already got asked if we're dating
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
