girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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