had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize