I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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