You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
