I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
