I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so let's talk penis.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
