Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
