her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
