The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
