so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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