You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
