Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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