i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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