No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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