i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
