i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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