dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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